To all of the loyal readers of APROPOS OF NOTHING . . .
We here at Apropos of Nothing apologize for the recent lack of new content. We are experiencing a period of transition and have gotten more than a little behind. Please look forward in the next week or two to more installments of THE RECKONING, and other articles which we hope will be of interest. Thanks so much for hanging in there while we attempt to make this site even better and more interesting. We love you all and want to wish you all a very happy St. Patrick’s day. Have fun, stay safe, and always remember, a little (a very little) green beer never hurt anyone!
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
(Real rocks are too heavy!)
Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
(Because you shouldn’t press your luck!)
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
What type of bow cannot be tied?
Where can you always find gold?
(In the dictionary!)
Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
(Because they’re already wearing green!)
Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
(Her red ones were in the wash!)
What did the leprechaun do for a living?
(He was a short-order cook!)
How can you tell if a leprechaun is having a good time?
(He is Dublin over with laughter!)
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A Shamrock Shake
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short.
Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?
Because you don’t want to press your luck.
I went out drinking on St Patricks Day, so I took a bus home…That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.
Q: What’s Irish and stays out all night?
A: Paddy O’furniture!
Q: How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?
A: Because they are hard to find and lucky to have.
Q: What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?
A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: How do you blind an Irish woman?
A: You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
A: A sham rock
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?
A: They like to “go” first class!
Q: How does every Irish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
Q: Why doesn’t Simon Cowell drink on St Patricks Day?
A: It interferes with his suffering!
Q: Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A: So the Irish would never rule the world.
Q: What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A: A bachelor.
Q: What’s the main difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: 1 less drunk at the party
Q: Why don’t women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day?
A: ‘Cause they don’t want to get a “sham rock”.
Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
A: St. O’Claus!
Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A: Sure, they’re green with envy!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame!
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A: To keep from falling in the stew!
Good night. And thanks so much for reading. See you next time.