I was pretty excited back in March of this year, when after about ten months of hard work, I was finally publishing my first full-length novel on Kindle and Smashworks. In the ebook universe, this is everything, as publishing at these two venues will get your work in literally every ebook store on the planet. It was called TIME ENOUGH TO DIE – The Watchmaker – Book One. By Lee Capp.
I sat back and waited for my well-deserved accolades, and in many cases received them. I have yet to get a really bad review and so far have averaged about 4.5 out of 5 stars. Not much to complain about there. There have been a few sales here and there and thousands of free downloads, a good way to build a fan base and reader loyalty. Not too bad for a first novel. I was a happy man . . . sort of.
Trouble was that I most certainly wasn’t getting the same kind of reception from my own family. The first to bite the dust was a brother-in-law. Robert is a wonderful man, don’t get me wrong. A religious person of the first order, his standards are very high. No cussing, no pre-martial sexual relations, and most certainly no dream sequence sex either.
TIME ENOUGH TO DIE begins with one of those – in the very first paragraph. By my standards, it’s pretty tame, but then I am most certainly not a religion person of the first order. And oh yeah, I guess there is probably quite a bit of cussing too. Not to mention a few bathtubs full of blood and gore. Hey, nobody’s perfect.
Well, old Bob never made it to paragraph two. When I asked him how he was doing on the book, he said he deleted it from his computer because after reading the opening, he thought he had stumbled onto a porn site.
The next to fall was a step-grandson. All of fourteen. He didn’t even get to the end of the first paragraph before quitting, and warning other kids his own age to avoid it at all cost. Another step-daughter, a church-lady of great repute, would not deign to begin at all. Some folks asked me to “tone it down.” I was beginning to get a complex.
And not one of them had even gotten as far as the naked gunfight or the torture chamber scenes!
Finally, in a semi-snit, I raged. “But it’s supposed to be a hard-boiled detective story,” I said. “It’s not supposed to have dancing unicorns in it, for pete’s sake!” Then the idea hit. I wondered if I could have a hard-boiled detective story with a dancing unicorn. Someone once bet the great songwriter Cole Porter that he couldn’t write a song titled simply, “I Love You.” He did, and it became one of his biggest hits.
So, when I wrote the soon to be published ELLIOTT BAY – The Watchmaker – Book Two, I put him (or her) into it. He (or her) appears in Chapter Two. And it’s not a dream sequence either. It’s a full- blooded unicorn dancing in a field of wildflowers . . . and dang it, I think it works. I invite my readers to judge for themselves.
I love my fans, both the paying ones and the free downloaders. And of course, I love my family too. To them I say, “This one’s for you.” Who knows? If ELLIOTT BAY ever makes it to the big screen, perhaps the dancing unicorn will make the final cut. I can see him (or her) now, dancing it’s little heart out . . . perhaps to the strains of WONDERFUL BABY. . . sang acappella. Think Don McClean.
Anyway, until next time . . . you all have a wonderful day.